Ordinary People

I'm old enough to remember a movie called "Ordinary People", which won an Academy Award or two back in it's day. I didn't see it until I was an young adult, and I watched it mainly for the star power. The plot dealt with a dysfunctional family that was very normal on the outside, but behind closed doors...

We put on a mask to go out in the world, to deal with everyday life. Joyce Meyer said in one of her sermons to treat people as though someone was always looking. It is true that we 1)treat people how to treat us (as adults) and 2) act differently when we are aware of being in the public eye.

It strikes me funny that magazines love to publish various female celebrities with their make up off as a source of what, ridicule? The poor woman usually looks one of two ways, either startled or confident (breezy maybe).

Years ago I wouldn't leave the house without wearing make-up. I was so insecure that if I was to be seen in public, I would have my hair "done" and have my make-up on. I cared so much about how I looked to other people. Isn't it funny that I went through great lengths to put on such a front! You should have seen my hair in the 80s! My friend called me the "Queen of Tease". It took us two hours to be completely ready for really, exposure of ourselves in much more intimate ways.

I went through a period where I was so insecure about myself, I never went without a good looking stud on my arm. I started an awful trend when I was 15 and just couldn't seem to stop until I hit my early 30s. I look back on it now as a blur. After that, I realized that I wasn't going to find happiness anywhere outside of me, so I went the other direction for the next 8 years. Studying, working and domestic tranquility became my passions. I was celibate and it was one of the happiest periods of my life. I didn't miss the drama-at all. In my two "serious" relationships, I was trying to be something that I'm not. Maybe I could have been somewhat, but I didn't feel "equal". I felt I had to fit a mold in order to be loved. Not too healthy.

A very long time ago my parents and I are on our way to church. I messed up (again) and my dad turns around and slaps me a good one across the face and then the next thing you know, we're pulling into the church parking lot and they are telling me to stop crying, it's time to go in. We walk up to the front door and my dad is all smiles to everyone he meets. Meanwhile, the tension is thick. I'm sitting in church, and I want to scream and run out. I cannot do a thing. That episode is what I call hypocrisy and I've never forgotten the lesson. Don't be on the outside what you are not on the inside.

Now, I rarely wear make-up. Someone said to me a long time ago, and over the years I've noticed this. The more make-up you wear, the more make-up you need. I believe that is really true for ourselves as well. The harder we try to put up a front, the more we should be paying attention to why we're doing it.

As I've gotten older, I notice that I don't particularly pay attention to individual people in general (unless I come into direct contact with them). Somewhere along the way I learned to stop really looking at people, because when we do, we're bound to find flaws, you know? I'm totally convicted about judging other girls when I was younger, the insecurity thing again. I believe it's better to "glaze" over people and smile when we feel we're being "gazed" at by someone else, if I'm conscious of it at all. Joel Osteen reminded people that the other person you meet up with somewhere may be having a bad day, try to be gracious. If you can't, you can't, but most people are just ordinary good people.

I hate having to get my picture taken because all I see is flaws. I am grateful that God sees my heart, and although I can be a jerk sometimes, he loves me anyway. He doesn't care if I have grey hair or spots. I am grateful that he sees the real me, without make-up. To heck with trying to cover it up.