It has been a difficult couple of weeks for us at the “SQ ranch”. I've always wanted to use that expression, ever since I heard my cousin use it for their family-the “J ranch”. Tabitha has been having headaches in the back of her head for the last few months, and I've taken her to get her vision checked. She has 20/20 vision, with a very slight leaning to the far-sighted side. I've taken her to her pediatritian and her allergy doctor for some answer, but they've not been able to give us one. Now she has to go to see a neurologist and we're on a waiting list for that. This last week, she reported that her vision gets blurry, and sometimes she gets a tingling sensation in her hands. She downplays the symptoms to doctors, and it's frustrating to me because I would be alarmed if those things were happening to me. I think that she's afraid of what they will find, so she acts as though it's no big deal.
We had to stop going to the martial arts classes. It's not because they haven't been great, it's because she has been going for the past couple of years and she knows how to defend herself to a certain extent, and also because it's no longer safe to take the bikes to get there in the dark and now it's getting much colder.
I would like to say a few words about Tri-Star. The owner and manager, Mr. Brummitt, has been a wonderful blessing to us (and I'm sure to everyone he meets). He is one of the most calm, kind and generous people you'd ever want to meet. He has been so, so kind to my daughter. She started taking lessons there 2 years ago because she was assaulted on the sidewalk that runs from our building to the play area, when she was coming back from the play area, by neighborhood boys with baseball bats. They surrounded her, lifted their bats to threaten her, lifted up her clothing, groped her, and humiliated her. This caused her to withdraw, as in she didn't want to go outside for 2 weeks. My normally singing, twirling and happy girl turned into someone who slumped and shrank. She began acting out her anger. I tried to get her some counseling, but their funding ended. I tried to get a restraining order against the boys (or press charges) but no one told me that I had to prove that they were stalking her previously. I prayed that God would bring us justice. Their mother told them to lie in court, saying that they weren't even there. It was devastating for us. We wanted to leave. We would have left, if there was somewhere to go.
Mr. Brummitt understood all this. He met with us, told me that they would put a protective “bubble” around her, and teach her to defend herself. To say that I am grateful would be an understatement. I am so, so grateful to this man for giving my daughter back her song. Even though living here is still a daily battle, the scars have begun to fade. You know, what really hurt is that the boys who caused her withdrawl didn't have to leave. We still see them almost every day, and I have to tell you, it's difficult to see that family, even now. I will be forever grateful to Mr. Brummitt for giving my daughter her confidence back. She would still like to participate, but I had to tell her that we need a car to get there, and that I would speak to Mr. Brummitt to see if that would work for him, and it was probably going to be a while before I could get transportation. She still wants to go to the “Ninja” camp next summer. I hope to be able to afford it by then.
There have been others who have stepped up to help us over the years. Just when you think that you're alone, someone comes along to renew your sense that not all people are bad. Finding work here has proven to be an enormous challenge. I've been looking for the last couple of months, and have come up with a big “zero”. I've never had this much trouble finding work, but I know I'm not alone. The other day, upon hearing, again, that I was a day late and a dollar short, I started crying, right in front of a friend. Embarrassed, I just wanted to escape from the van. I was drawn to the river. We got out of the van, and walked down by the river, and the sense of connection came over me again, and I was able to deal with the next challenge. I had to take Tabitha to the hospital to try to get a CAT scan or MRI to find out why her vision has become blurry. They didn't want to give her one after a normal neurological evaluation. I have been so frustrated that the doctors are dragging their feet, meanwhile, my daughter is suffering. It has been challenging, to say the least.
I guess that I'd like to close with gratitude. I'd like to thank all of the good, kind and giving Christian people that have brought us through some dark days. Without these people we wouldn't have made it this far. I am grateful for a God who puts love in people's hearts, so they have love to give others. The world is a cruel place, an unforgiving place, but I thank God that He forgives and loves us. Without Him we wouldn't have made it this far either. Thank you for looking out over us, making the rough ways smooth.
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